Having been a citizen of the 21st century for just shy of nine years, I think I’ve grasped recent communication trends well enough to develop preferences. Let me show you them.

Phone – Don’t call me. Except for a select few (who should already know who they are), people shouldn’t call me on the phone to have a conversation. It is the worst thing ever. All the visual cues and psychic nuances are gone and I have no idea what is happening. Are you upset? Is that an awkward silence or did we just get disconnected? Am I supposed to speak now? The phone is for brief exchanges lasting for less than 5 minutes (“Where did you put the halberd?” “How do I get past the sentry droid and into your apartment complex?”). Voice communication needs to happen face to face.

Email – This is for personal, long-form correspondence. It is intimate, replacing the hand-written letters from horse and buggy times. Or for sending information to people who aren’t on Facebook. Or for spam.

Facebook – This is where most of my everyday exchanges have migrated to. I have filtered out most of the quizzes and Mafia wars nonsense so that Facebook is actually a useful way to keep up with people and coordinate events.

Texting – This is an interesting one. For me, texting has become a hybrid, all-purpose channel. But since texts are usually exchanged while some other activity is taking place, it has become a sideband commentary track, the subtitles to my ongoing film.

Instant Messaging – I don’t use a dedicated IM client. I think IM should be a ubiquitous, transparent service that pops up when needed and then fades away the other 95% of the time. I will only “chat” with a few people. Otherwise the same concerns with phone conversations arise. Is the conversation over now? Is it okay if I stop chatting now because I have something else I need to do? What are you wearing?

Skype – Despite my dislike for chatting on the phone, I like talking on Skype. As long as there are more than two people, including me. Then it’s like a party line and other people can talk when I have nothing to say.

Google Wave – While it is still too early in the game to make a call, I really hope this replaces email and instant messaging. I like the branching, non-linear nature of waves. It is closer to way my own thought processes work regarding communication. Right now it is the Big Experiment and people are throwing lots of ideas into the blender. Mostly Wave seems like a collaborative tool, but I wouldn’t mind using it for day to day conversations.

This really seems like more than enough variety. I’d rather there just be maybe two channels, amalgams of all these methods that work however you need them to. Of course, some kind of telepathic thoughtspace would do the trick.

Until next time, this is Dr. Peter Venkman saying, “”.